Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Distracted

Little Buddha is a really distracted nurser. It's funny to me now, thinking back to nursing days with Zen Master, that I thought he was unique of this trait. But Little Buddha is now so much more sensitive (obviously! my house was much quieter with only one baby back then). As it turns out, it's very common and my boys seem to just be super sensitive to their surroundings. It's nothing that I can't work with and we can usually adapt easily.

This evening Little Buddha wanted to nurse but was distracted. By everything. Zen Master was doing a puzzle on the floor of a rocket ship and was loudly telling me everything he knew about rocket ships. I had the TV on in the background. The dog was walking around. You know, normal everyday distractions. Little Buddha doesn't nurse well with distractions so he kept pulling off, looking around and eventually pulled away. He didn't drink much and certainly didn't enjoy a quiet moment of calmness. Had it not been dinner time with a number of things to prepare for the meal ahead of me, I would have taken him upstairs to his quiet room to nurse (a routine we have gotten used to when the surroundings are a bit much for him to focus on the task at hand). But I didn't and I justified his whininess to that if he was really hungry and cranky he would just nurse already. Bad Mama.

I'm thankful for breastfeeding and the ability to comfort and nurture my children and provide a safe haven for them when they need it. What I failed to do tonight was stop and realize what he really needed from me was just that. He was looking for his safe haven. He needed some comfort, quiet and some warm milk would have been nice too. He needed to chill out after practicing his backwards crawling and playing with his toys and watching all of his surroundings. Duh. It wasn't until I took him upstairs to change him and feed him that he had a bit of a meltdown and I realized that he was past his breaking point. He had tried to communicate with me countless times and I was DISTRACTED. The oven, the stove, the vegetables waiting to be sliced, the table waiting to be set, the TV, the dog, the preschooler chatting and playing away. I allowed myself to get so distracted that I completely ignored what Little Buddha really needed at that moment. Mindful much?

As I write this out I've had to stop twice to an unsettled baby who needed comforting/nursing/rocking to help him fall back asleep. Clearly his evening has upset his bedtime. I will not dwell on today and my inattentiveness but it helps me to reflect on my mindfulness, put my best foot forward and be more thankful for tomorrow's. Sweet milky dreams, Little Buddha.

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